I have a lot to write but for now....MY Dear Vahid, Happy Birth day:)I hope your heart is as warm as always in Calgery's cold weather:P

I just discovered Evanescence!!!!!!sorry not to know them before;)

my immortal
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

Dance Class!!

I can't beilive how disorganized and laid back was the Latin class of ISC!!!I used to go to hart house's Latin class and it was sooo diciplined and quite...in this class every one was talking to each other and the poor teacher had to yell!!he had a nice accent but sometimes I couldn't understand if he is talking in English or Russian!;)but the class was a turn off for me..I mean if I haven't gone to that well organized and serious class in hart house, I guess I wouldn't know the difference...In hart house the class had mirrors so you could see the foot work of the teacher form there and he would separate girls and guys and teach them separately..but this guy was confusing girls and guys together!!ofcourse girls and boys have different steps!!
Last night I had a very interesting converstation for the first time with a persian guy who has matured so much since he has come from Iran...Although there are people in our lab that don't like his ways..but from the begining I realized that he has become real free...free of speech....and I liked people who express themselves without hidding their real meaning...anyways he was saying how the persian guys think about girls...and to my real disappointment I heard such horrible things from him that I am totally turned off by male species!!!specially persian boys...despite the fact that they talk about emotions they are only after one thing...and they are all talk...with no real respect for girls...
I told him that some of my good friends have Italian boyfriends and how wonderful Italian people are..and he confirmed...and said its all about their approach to things...he was saying how persian girls are not emotional and don't express themselves...and ofcourse I told him about the third law of Newtons...how each action has a reaction....when a girl shows emotion to a boy, she is considered to be a bitch in persian culture ofcourse before marriage and the feed back of that is the unemotional behaviour of girls...
It's actually a very confusing matter....anyways his solution to this problem was for persian girls to give persian guys a great deal of hard time if they wanted to cross the red lines....
but I think this has a greater aspect, these are all in theory...I mean emotionally when you get involved with someone you may try to logically reason to not to continue but matters of heart are not like that..and you might know that someone is all wrong for you but still be with that person...why is that??
may be the fear of being alone...fear of loss of support of any kind?
anyways it was great talking to a guy who knows these problems and the funny thing is that he doesn't suggest persian guys for persian girls;)

Today was the conference for biocomposites at our department..and as usual..it was a complete waste of time!!!all small companies...I don't like small companies...I know what you are thinking now!!as if!!;)
I saw this girl on the street car with dark blue hi lights!!I loved it..I want to die my hair..I want to die it blue..green..red...and purple and silver:)don't you think it would be nice?
Tomorrow is going to be great..my first session of new phase latin classes start:)
Another set of TOF-SIMS and GC...hopefully goes well...
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The more I think about life..the more I realize that nothing is forever...I don't know why I used to think so shallowly...why I always wanted something here and now...but then I think about some people who have everything given to them on a silver platter...take one of my close friends for example...I love her to death..but look at her life..
she graduates from chem-eng like me...she got a wonderfull job with amazing pay...next she got engaged 3 month after..ofcourse with her 2 year long boy friend who loves her so much that I have never seen a guy would love a girl so much in my life....later she bought a great car and now she bought a house..a big house...and her wedding is in summer!!!
Tell me...is she lucky or what?compare her to me....interms of money, I am not even close..you know how university is....and the rest is irrelevent because they were connected to previous point!!!
The only thing in my life that I am proud of is my research work and volunteer works..and my friends..and the fact that I know that I have matured so much in the past 4 years..other than that...I don't have any materialistic thing....
but you know what I am begining to realize is that this thing is actually is soooooo current in my dad's side of the family...powerful women who didn't get married till later in life and got real good and solid education and very proud jobs..so I think I getting their genes;)

My heart will go on
"Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're one

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on"
Celin Dion...need I say more..you know which song it is..don't you?
When Titank came first I didn't go watch it because it was a romance movie and wated to watch it with someone really special...and then when I was in second year in university my dad got it for me on Video..and I watched it alone...now I know who is special in my life...my dad..I love you...

Snow!!!
Is the school closed???is my university closed??these are what my two younger brothers are asking constantly this morning;)but too bad they are open...it reminds me of my time at school as a student...when we were in Iran..in Tehran..when we had 2-3 cm of snow the schools would close and all the areas except ours would close!!!I remember I was listening to the news on the radio and when they announced..area 1,2,3,4,5 are closed..I was furious ..because at that time I was at area 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Probability
what is the probablity of saying something and that thing really comes true?
well last night my whole family was sitting around the fire place at our house and listening to my dad's stories of his childhood when Arash, my brother, said that what if we have a blackout at our house!!and since the key to the room where the fuse box is, missing what should we do??and I guess we thought about it for a while, like 30 second;), and the topic was changed..this morning when I woke up we realized that my parent's room's light was out!!!
I was telling Arash, he should talk about the low probability things more now!!!incase they do happen!!like ehhhhhhhm..Lottory!!!;)

Since friday so many things have happened..salsa dancing friday night was great..the funny thing was the fact that we were early for the club and there was a dance class going on!!we started practicing and the poor teacher came to us and said:are you here for latin dancing class?:)and we said no but still kept on practing;)but you don't know how good the room looked after they turned the white light off and other lights and party balls were on...the whole room that was a very ordinary room became to life!!!it was great...illusion!!anyways yesterday I went to Ali Ehsasi's talk at U of T and to my astonishment, Dona said oh was it your picture in the newspaper!!!?I was suprized and then I realized when we were getting the awards they took pictures;)so I am famous now;)and getting proposal's left and right!!!it was great hanging around with friends..tonight I am going canvensing for Ali's campain...I hope and wish and pray that he wins...please let everyone know about this..
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The strangest thing of last night was that although I used to be friend with this girl with lots of laughs, now that she is dating one of my friends, the cheers are gone..and I can't understand why I can't get myself to have the same friendship I used to have with her..